Generally, when you sit at a table, it doesn’t really matter where you sit. However, when you are at a table discussing an IEP, strengths and improvement areas, accommodations and modifications, transition, etc. the side that you sit on can be quite different. As an educator for almost two decades and a parent of a child with Autism, I have a unique perspective since I have sat on one side or the other many times. The view is different, the feeling is different, but ultimately the goals and intent should be the same. The challenge can be for everybody at the table to be on the same page, collaborating, and working in the best interest of the individual.
The school lens
There can be a lot to focus on when looking through the school’s lens, so when I was wearing the educator hat, I tried to look at some large concepts when I was working with students: legal, logical, and doable. Legal is the one that can flex the most power and drives many decisions, but it is not always the best means for developing a powerful plan for an individual. Schools understand IDEA, they may hop in and out of it and skirt all around it, but they know it is powerful. But many times it is hard to put the “I” back into IDEA and make a learning environment truly individualized. That is when the logical aspect comes into play. Looking at the student and his/her needs in a logical manner can help guide the decision making process. It allows committees and personnel to view the steps that need to be taken in order to put in the correct systems, services, processes, etc. that allow a student to be successful. This is a huge part of the decision making process. Sadly you can have great plans and intentions, but if you don’t have the resources, manpower, or other means to make it happen, then well…this is why I always had to ask if the plan was doable. This is difficult. Many times the means to carry out the plan are not there, and you have to do the best you can with what you have as far as resources. You have to be creative and be sure to always put the child first. Do the best you can do and work together to support the student to best of the school’s ability.
The parent lens
As a parent sitting at the table, the focus can shift a little. Although we want all the things the school is focused on, we also concentrate on some other areas. I want to know if my child likes school and is learning. These can be intertwined and connected resulting in positive outcomes. My child heads to school each day with my hope being he enjoys being there and that he sees it as a safe place to be involved and gain valuable skills. The learning I talk about is not just from the curriculum, factoids, writing skills, reading skills, but from a wide range of areas such as social, emotional, and life skills. It is a place where he can find who is and be able to hijack his own learning so that it fits what he needs, wants, and ultimately provides his best opportunity for success in life, not just a school year.
I know the IEP is reviewed each year, by law, by the school; but as a family, we review it daily, sometimes hourly. We are making adjustments, revisions, changing therapies, attending new groups, and doing all we can to support our child. We are working hard to provide all the opportunities we can and to make sure our child is getting all the help, interventions, and supports we can find and/or provide. It is an ongoing process and one that, when we are sitting at that table, needs to be conveyed so that we can all provide anything and everything we can so my child can like school and maybe learn a little something along the way. But as we know this takes a team effort.
Communication and collaboration
Often during Professional Development or training opportunities, I would talk about the three C’s and how important they are regarding relationships, and especially school and home relationships: Communication, Cooperation, andCollaboration. As you can see all three are very important, but for today I am going to focus on Collaboration: this innate ability to work with a group of people collectively to achieve something or do something. That “something” for me is to provide my child with the best learning environments and opportunities possible. My family works diligently with the school to make sure we are doing what is best for my child within the confines of the law, utilizing a logical approach, and doable by all parties while providing an enjoyable learning environment. That is what we try to do.
The optimum scenario is that everyone is communicating and cooperating to provide the very best services and opportunities to each and every child. This naturally lends itself to a collaborative relationship, because communication and cooperation are critical to achieving anything. That is all one can hope for no matter where you are sitting at the table: that all stakeholders are working together to facilitate the very best outcomes for every child.
Some helpful resources for Parents:
Autism Advocacy/Support Groups
